Observations on Being a New Mom

 Sleepy Ziva

It’s been a long time since I updated this blog, but I have a good excuse: I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on November 22! I feel very lucky to have had a smooth labor and a healthy baby.

My last post, in July, was about how I really wanted to finish my novel and have it agent-ready before my baby was born. I did end up hiring a professional editor and he had a lot more suggestions than I expected, which together amounted to another rewrite. The bad news is that, though I wrote a lot of the newest version before I have birth, I didn’t finish it. The good news is that my writing didn’t completely stop now that I have a baby. It has certainly slowed down, as it’s harder to find time to write, but I’ve been able to take advantage of some of her nap times and the times when my husband is home to get a little writing done.

Most of my life, however, has been taken up with baby concerns, which is why the rest of this blog is about being a new parent. No real advice here, just some observations:

There seem to be two camps when it comes to opinions about new babies: The “So Precious, Enjoy Every Minute” camp, and the “OMG, This is So Hard I Can’t Wait Until This Stage is Over” camp. After reading several articles from both sides, because they are both all over the Internet, it seems like some people just like the helpless little baby stage and some people just don’t (no judgment, every parent has different strengths). Also, some babies are just harder than others. So far, my husband and I are closer to the first camp, as we both agree that the enjoyable parts of having a baby outweigh the hard parts. I think it’s partly because our baby is usually pleasant and is sleeping well, for now (kina hora!). That said…

“Enjoy every minute” is ridiculous advice. I don’t even enjoy every minute of Disneyland, and its entire purpose is enjoyment. That kind of hyperbole is probably what has spurred all those “sometimes you’ll hate your baby and that’s okay” posts I’ve been seeing on Facebook. Do I enjoy most of the time I spend with my baby? Sure. Did I enjoy those minutes at 6am when I had been up cluster feeding her since midnight and I was exhausted and my nipples were sore and she was still wide awake and wanted to eat AGAIN? No. Do I enjoy seeing her smile and dressing her up in adorable baby clothes? Of course! But do I enjoy scrubbing poop explosions off her adorable baby clothes? Of course not! Which brings me to my next point… Continue reading